My sister and I have six children between the ages of 5 and 12. Each one has a different personality and different tastes—and needs—yet they all eat a healthy and varied diet. Is it luck?
Absolutely not.
When people tell me "How lucky!" when they see my kids love broccoli, I don't know whether to laugh or cry because they don't appreciate the amount of work behind that "luck." But there is work involved, and here's how we did it.
Planning, shopping, cooking, and eating with children: Obviously, these tasks are much quicker if we do them alone, especially when the children are young. But not only does participating in meal planning help children eat a more varied diet, but in the long run, children can also be a great help. My nieces, for example, often make healthy meals and snacks on their own.
Offering healthy options: At my house, we eat what's on the menu that day, and I don't allow changes—even though my children have often gone to the refrigerator "to see what else is there." At dinner, there are always three or four options, and while they have to try everything, they don't have to finish it all. If there's something I know one of them doesn't like—tofu, for example, which my daughter doesn't like—I include another plant-based protein, like cashew pesto, as an alternative or side dish. At my sister's house, there's always salad and other vegetables, and the children can choose what they prefer to eat that day.
Different food: I love food from other cultures, and I'd like my children to like it too, but the reality is that every time I've made something Indian or Vietnamese-inspired, they've said no. So when I do these experiments, I mix them with options I know they'll eat. For example, the red lentil dal I made the other day with rice and tofu, or fresh Vietnamese spring rolls with rice noodles and stir-fried green beans. They aren't authentic dishes, but they do offer a variety of flavors for the children, and options they recognize and appreciate. The rule is that they have to try everything before deciding whether they like it or not.
Fruit as a snack or dessert: Although I love baking, I try to always have fruit for dessert at home. Sometimes my children get hungry right before dinner, so I let them eat fruit beforehand. I choose fruits that won't fill them up—like half an apple or two tangerines instead of a banana—so they don't sit down to the table hungry.
Fun but healthy options: Many Fridays at my house we have pizza for dinner, but we don't order it from anywhere or buy it frozen; we make it ourselves. We use sourdough bread or pre-baked wholemeal crusts. I make the tomato sauce with lots of vegetables —here's the link to my tomato and kale sauce recipe —or if I don't have time that day, I add steamed broccoli, which the kids have to eat before having a second helping of pizza. Obviously, it's not the healthiest meal of the week, but I wouldn't call it junk food either.
Balance: When the children go to a birthday party, I try to make sure the food beforehand is super healthy—usually legumes. Then I tell them they can eat whatever they want at the party, although I explain that sweets and cakes with colorful frostings are not only full of sugar, but are also made with artificial colorings that I don't like and that aren't good for their health. My children still choose to eat 'colorful' cakes, but my nephews, who are a bit older, prefer to eat other things. None of them eat sweets.
Pantry: Keeping a pantry—and refrigerator—stocked with a variety of foods and ingredients to make good meals is very important, as is not having junk food stored—not even for guests. In my house, for example, there are no soft drinks, no cookies with questionable ingredients, and no sweets. I do have coconut sugar, cocoa, dark chocolate, and whole-wheat flour for making homemade cakes, and we occasionally buy cookies, but never the kind with preservatives, artificial colors, palm oil, etc. Incidentally, on more than one occasion, my children's friends have said they don't like the cookies or popcorn we have at home because they're hard or bland, although they always appreciate fresh fruit.
Television and popular culture: If you look closely at TV commercials, you'll see a ton of them are for sugary food and drinks. Cereals and breakfast drinks "for kids" feature cartoons to attract them, and I'm seeing more and more illustrations of ice cream, pastries, and sweets on clothing, especially girls' clothing. Although we don't watch much TV at home— you can read more here about how Ruth got to this point —when my children do watch TV, it's through ad-free services, so they don't have to see images that seem to suggest that having fun requires drinking a sugary beverage.
Use your head: It's pointless to get angry or punish a child for not wanting to eat their stew. I still remember the fear I felt when I was yelled at at school and made to miss recess because I hadn't finished my chickpeas. It's much better to give a child the option of not eating dinner—or just a little—than to start yelling. I know it's difficult—especially when a child is in a low percentile for weight and height, as my son has been his whole life—but if the child is healthy and growing normally, nothing bad will happen if they skip dinner one night if that's what they decide. Just be careful not to give them fruit or milk so they don't go to bed on an empty stomach.
Explaining why they eat healthily: My children see that most of their friends and neighbors don't eat as healthily as we do. I explain to them that everyone's choices should be respected, but that we believe taking care of our diet is one of the most important things we can do. I also encourage them to observe what happens when they eat food with a lot of added sugar—like the day I gave them a granola bar (which I thought was healthier but was full of sugar) for a snack before music class, and even the teacher asked me what I had given them, because they were so agitated.
Finally, children, even young ones, are very perceptive. When they don't want to eat something I've made for them, I try not to let my feelings influence my response. "This is what it is, I'm sorry you don't like it," is enough. It's not easy when we've spent a good part of the day planning, shopping, and cooking, but this reaction is much better than getting angry with them. In the long run, and perhaps not so long after, you'll realize that all the work is worth it.
I hope these tips help you.