Today I am writing to tell you about what began as a necessity to raise my bilingual children and has ended up becoming one of the best decisions I have made as a mother.
When my first daughter was born abroad, I became obsessed with her learning to speak Spanish before learning English, the language of the country. I knew that the more she was exposed to the language of the country, the less chance she had of Spanish taking root properly.
I wanted her first words to be in Spanish, and I thought I could avoid turning on the television when she could hear it so she'd be less exposed to English. So instead of watching TV, we listened to songs in Spanish, read books in Spanish, and I read her stories in Spanish at home and in the car. I hoped all these activities would enrich her future vocabulary.
At first, my husband thought I was overdoing it, an exaggeration, because, as he said, "a little TV never hurt anyone..." He also thought that not turning on the TV meant that either he or I would have to entertain her all day. But she grew up and learned to entertain herself with her imagination and the many toys, books, and crafts we had. Little by little, my husband realized that it wasn't so difficult to do without television, and that children want to know you're there for them, but they don't need you to do everything with them.
In my experience, many times we would start a craft activity: watercolors, playdough, etc., and halfway through the project I would have to get up to get one of the little ones who had just woken up from their nap, to make dinner, or to get a glass of water. My daughter would continue with her activity, without needing me.
Both my husband and I became more creative when it came to spending time with them. On a rainy day, for example, I would put their boots and raincoats on them and take them out to play in the puddles. Now that they're older, I let them experiment with tools like screwdrivers, measuring tapes, nails, and hammers.
At 12 years old, my daughter is completely bilingual and has no interest in television. She reads a lot, is athletic, and can talk about any subject; she loves school and dreams of a job that involves traveling and learning about other countries and cultures.
My other three children, who also grew up without television or screens for daily entertainment, aren't interested in TV either. My 10-year-old daughter loves music and art: everything she sees inspires her to create. She plays the violin and is currently learning to play the ukulele on her own. My 8-year-old son is enthusiastic about sports; he enjoys watching them live and playing them, and best of all, he knows that to be a good athlete you have to take care of yourself, so he eats healthily and goes to bed early before a game so he can perform at his best. We're still not quite sure what direction our youngest, who is 6, will take, but he doesn't need television to pass the time either.
Now my husband thanks me for showing him that we could live—and have a life—without hardly ever turning on the TV all these years. He appreciates that our children entertain themselves and enjoy our conversations, board games, cards, and all the family activities. Without a doubt, without hours in front of a screen, our day is much more productive.
Even though they're older now, we still don't turn on the TV every day. We use phones, tablets, and computers as work tools, but we don't depend on them. Some weekends we watch movies together and the occasional game of our favorite sports. And as you can imagine, there are no video games here. As my son says, the best video game is being outdoors.
My children know that not all families have this philosophy of life, but it's also true that we're not the only ones who don't watch much TV at home. I suppose that at some point they feel different from some of their classmates when they talk about video games or TV characters, but they know that we're all different because no two families function exactly the same way. My children are happy, they have good friends, and they like to study. What more could you ask for?
Has anyone had a similar experience? How are electronics used in your home?
- Ruth
3 Tips for Using Less Technology at Home
1- Don't turn on the TV during the day, even if you're not watching it and just want it in the background: If you need "company," put on music.
2. Keep crafts, books, and toys on hand that don't require your attention so your children can use them without you constantly having to entertain them. Blocks and puzzles are good options for younger children.
3- Set a good example and limit the amount of time you spend with your own electronics—for example, don't use them during meals, don't take them to the bedrooms, etc. Not only will you be more present for your family, but you'll also be setting an example for your children of the appropriate use of technology.