I like to take care of my diet and that of my family, especially my children, but I am concerned about the so-called diet culture, and the idea that food is good or bad depending on whether it makes you fat or not.
I'm worried because even though we don't talk about weight at home, my children have already asked me if having big legs is a bad thing. Also, because we place a lot of emphasis on the importance of eating quality food as a source of our well-being, but I don't want them to confuse well-being with a specific weight.
I'm not an expert in nutrition or psychology, so I can't advise you on how to deal with this issue in your family life. But I imagine I'm not the only one who wants to instill a healthy lifestyle in her children without making them obsessed with food.
I'll tell you about the things I do, using specific vocabulary, in case they can help you.
1- Although my relationship with food hasn't always been ideal: I've never had an eating disorder, but I have gone through periods of hating my body, I never talk about my body or other people's bodies in front of my children. If they bring up the subject—which it does from time to time—I try to be neutral, or guide them towards the things we are capable of doing with our bodies.
For example: "The gymnast's legs are big because she exercises a lot, and those muscles help her do those cool routines."
2- When my children ask me why they don't eat things that their friends do - for example, sweets - I tell them first that each family has its own rules and we shouldn't compare or judge, and then that sweets don't nourish our bodies or our brains and that although trying them won't hurt them - and they have tried them - eating them daily won't help them have the energy they want to have to play.
3- When I go out to exercise—and there was a time when they didn't want me to go running—I tell them how important it is for my mental health to move my body. I tell them, for example, "Mom is calmer after going for a run." I also tell them that "exercising gives me more energy so I can play with you now and for a long time," which is definitely one of my motivations.
4- Many days I eat a large salad while they have quesadillas or a sandwich with a little salad. First of all, they already know that I can't eat gluten for health reasons, but also, if they ask, I tell them that "my energy needs are lower than theirs, because I spend almost all day sitting in front of the computer, while they never stop playing games."
5- This last point came to me after my daughter asked me what a calorie was. A friend at school had told her that what they were eating had a lot of calories. I told her that "a calorie is simply a measure of energy, and when you're very active you need more than when you're not," and that they don't measure whether a food nourishes you or not. It's quite simplified, so they can understand it better.
6- Now that they have a bit more independence when choosing what to eat (when they're out; at home we all eat more or less the same thing), I tell them that what they eat is their decision, and they have to make a choice that's good for them at that moment, and that makes them feel good. I know that with this I'm "risking" them eating ultra-processed food, but I'm also giving them the ability to understand how their body feels after eating some finger foods, compared to the meals at home, and I hope that in the future they'll choose foods that make them feel good because they want to, and not because I've forced them, or because they're trying to be at a specific weight.
How do you talk about wellness and nutrition without falling into diet culture?