For the past few years, I've felt something akin to urgency. It's a feeling that I'm running out of time to do the things I love most. Not because I feel old—which I don't, to be honest—but because of the number of things I "have" to do compared to what I "want" to do, and also because of how quickly motherhood seems to be passing me by.
When you think about it, you realize that, for example, most of us will spend 18 summers and 18 Christmases with each of our children (if you're really optimistic, maybe a few less). It's quite possible there will be more, but seeing each other will become increasingly difficult, and certainly never the same as when we have children. This doesn't depress me; on the contrary, it makes me want to make the most of every one of those summers. When I look back, I want to do so with satisfaction, not regret.
This urgency has made me reflect on how I spend my hours, days, months, and years. I want to live more, but not necessarily longer—though that's part of it, and that's why I take care of myself—but rather to make the most of every day I have.
This way of seeing life and time has helped me to make sure that each week, month, and year I have more of the things I love most (without neglecting the things I don't like as much but have to do out of responsibility and/or necessity).
I think you'll like seeing life this way too; it becomes more fun, although also more tiring. By the way, if you want to add moments of relaxation, you can. It's about using your time the way you like best, not the way everyone else does.
In the months I've been practicing this way of seeing life, I've taken a transatlantic trip, gone camping for the first time, had dinner at home after many years, read and listened to books I loved, and adopted a dog, among many other things. I'm also much happier and more at peace.
What do you think? Will you give it a try?
I suppose there are many ways to fill each year with activities we enjoy; these are my tips for achieving that.
Put your phone away: Phones are incredibly addictive, you know that. It's really hard not to look at them when they're nearby and notifications keep popping up. It'll be much easier to avoid looking at them when they're not in front of you, in your pocket, or in your hand. Whenever possible, leave them in a drawer. For example, during dinner, while you're out for a walk, or when you're reading or watching a movie.
Plan big: Instead of organizing your life day by day, think about planning it year by year—just like many companies do. Start with everything you know is already on your calendar—family holidays, business trips, weddings, etc.—and then add what you want to do—weekend getaways, concerts, trips on days when you have nothing planned. This will help you get a bird's-eye view of what awaits you in the coming year, and see where you have time to add more, and where you might need a little more time.
Add in small and big adventures: Taking a dream trip is wonderful, but not everything in life has to be grand. Discovering hidden corners of your city, trying a new sport or physical activity, waking up early to watch the sunrise peacefully, or spending an afternoon with a cousin you haven't seen in a while are adventures that are sure to fill you with positive energy.
Make plans: If you feel like going to a concert or a new restaurant, don't wait for a better time to buy tickets or make a reservation. Make the plan and add it to your calendar so you won't forget it or prioritize other things.
Prioritize what you love: We all have responsibilities, and some we don't particularly enjoy, but they have to be done. Within that framework, there are surely things you do to avoid looking bad, or perhaps out of an unnecessary sense of guilt. You also probably do things out of habit, like picking up your phone to see what's on social media. Helping others is fantastic, and saying yes to everything can be fun too, but don't forget to prioritize the things that enrich and fulfill you. This year I've said no to volunteer plans and opportunities, but I know I haven't let anyone down, since I've said yes to many others—including helping acquaintances and friends—something that also enriches me.
I'd love to know what you think of this way of looking at the time we have. Do you think it would help you?