A few months ago I saw an advertisement for a brand of sparkling water that depicted how people who don't drink, or don't stay out until the early hours of the morning, feel. I loved it because I felt a strong connection to it.
I've never been much of a drinker, so I've had to listen to comments from friends and acquaintances about how "old-fashioned" I am for not participating. Now that I'm older, I hear fewer comments, and they affect me less, or not at all.
If these comments bother you and make you drink more, I'm going to give you some tips so you don't have to listen to them so much.
Having spent many years—decades, in fact—drinking very little alcohol, much less than a glass of wine every two weeks, I can offer advice that has helped me deal with unwanted comments. I believe this advice will not only make you feel better on those occasions when you don't drink, but it can also help you choose to drink alcohol only when you want to and in the amounts you deem appropriate.
1- Avoid social situations where alcohol is the main focus. This doesn't need much explanation, but basically, don't go to drinking parties or stay out drinking until the early hours. Saying no in those situations is very difficult due to social pressure. And we all know that going from one drink to two, three, or more is quite easy.
2. Create social situations where alcohol isn't involved. Meet up for breakfast or coffee instead of in the evening. Play sports as a group, but go home before the drinks and beers start flowing, which often happens after padel or tennis matches. If you want to stay and enjoy the social interaction, you can order sparkling water with a slice of lemon—that way you have something to drink, socialize, but don't consume alcohol.
3- Think about what you gain, instead of what you lose. I don't think anyone wants to wake up with a hangover, but waking up with energy is wonderful, especially if you want to go to an early yoga class, go for a run, or wake up happy and rested.
4- Say no firmly. Once you firmly say "no thanks," it's harder for them to keep insisting. There's always someone who persists, but you have every right to keep saying no. As an anecdote, I'll tell you that years ago I had to be very rude to a guy who kept insisting I have a shot. He told me I was boring, and honestly, it really upset me, but I stood my ground, and years later I'm still proud of it.
5. If your friends keep insisting you drink with them, consider taking a break from hanging out with them. If you feel comfortable, you can talk to them openly—at a time when alcohol isn't involved—about how you feel when they insist you drink, and why you want to drink less.
6- Glass in hand. In situations where you feel you have to drink alcohol - for example at a business dinner where you think not participating could be detrimental - you can order a glass of wine and hold it in your hand but without drinking it.
I feel that everyone is free to drink alcohol, as long as it doesn't affect others, but we all need to be aware of how harmful alcohol is to our health. I know there are studies that show that a moderate amount of red wine can be beneficial for cardiovascular health, but if you don't drink, no doctor is going to tell you to start.
In general, and especially in these almost two years since the start of the pandemic, society today drinks more alcohol than it should, something that has also become normalized. I believe this normalization is what leads friends and acquaintances to make those comments to people who prefer not to drink alcohol.
If you drink alcohol, do so on social occasions that you deem appropriate, safely, and without social pressure.
I hope that what I've learned over the years will help you during these holidays and in the future.
If you believe you have a drinking problem, please consult a professional. This advice is based on personal experience and should never be used as a substitute for professional help.